We All Need a Secret Garden


We All Need a Secret Garden

By Monica Y Mateo

In a day and age when people feel that they must overly share their thoughts, feelings, and personal beliefs — we are flooded with tons of TMI. Social media and our new age thinking has caused an uncensored flow of noise. We feel like we no longer need to think before we speak creating avoidable arguments in our lives.

As most of you know, or will begin to know — I take social media sabbaticals often. I unplug from IG, Facebook and Twitter in order to focus on MY OWN SECRET GARDEN. I love the occasional photo of a couple enjoying their day or adorable selfie of my girlfriends. But too much of a good thing is not pleasurable. I do not enjoy the rants, depressing purge of emotions, and utter disregard for others.

I understand that our passions are high and especially during a political season. But I never understood the need to stuff my life or opinion down anyone’s throat — and this is why we all need a secret garden.

  1. It is better to focus on yourself rather than focus on others. I do not mean this to be selfish. We tend to look at what someone else is doing rather than living our own lives. We compare ourselves to our friends, family and social media counterparts. We often feel like we are lacking where others are flourishing  and it needs to stop.
  2. No, not everyone NEEDS to know your opinion. Shhhh! No one needs to know the details of your day unless your chatting on the phone with someone close to you. The world does not need to always know your political or social view all of the time. People will know where you stand and your actions are more important than mere words anyway. I can continue to post “I’M VEGAN EVERYONE!!” or I can simply live a vegan lifestyle and sporadically share insightful information. If your page looks like a campaign for a certain cause — rethink your next post.
  3. Check your emotions at the door. No one deserves to be your victim when you’re overly emotional or angry. That belongs in your garden, darling. We all feel angry and emotional at times, but it is important to implement positive ways to handle those emotions rather than aimless rants. Social media is never the place.
  4. Don’t share too much of your relationship or family moments. No one needs to know every tidbit of your personal family life. You shouldn’t discuss other members of your family especially if its personal/traumatic. Feel free to share things in person or over the phone with trusted people, but the stranger that you’re sitting next to doesn’t need to know about Aunt Margaret and her drinking problem.
  5. Respect another person’s point of view. We are very brave behind our computers. We say things to strangers that we would never say face to face. Don’t engage in social media disputes or belittle people. It’s not mature and not appropriate. You do not hold the only opinion and it’s important to respect others. macys-secret-garden-show-fountain-2014.jpg
  6. Love and cherish your garden. Some things should remain — unknown! We should all have a little mystery. People may think they know a world about me, but they don’t. Even when people begin to read my memoir, they still won’t know everything about me. Many may think they will, but they will be wrong. I have a secret garden and I cherish it. Not everything is meant for everyone. Some things belong just for me in my heart where they will remain.

Life is more than our opinions and useless chatter. I love to listen and carry on conversations just like you. I enjoy debating ideas and have tons of passion. But there is a time and place.


Love, peace, and healing, xo!

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Abmonicaymateo.shootout the author: 

Monica Y. Mateo is a licensed social worker by day and writer/blogger by night. She is currently working on her memoir, The Cancer Warrior, to be published 2017. She is also the founder of The Warriors Movement. A chic way to handle the chaos of life. It is a way to overcome hardships and trauma like a true warrior. It is understanding that life can be challenging, but with the right attitude — can be magnificent. It is the journey to heath and healing!

Monica Y. Mateo is a 7 year survivor of Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma ALK+, which taught her that people can change unhealthy patterns and behaviors. She enjoys yoga and practices Buddhism, which has taken her on an adventure of a lifetime.

Disclaimer: MONICAYMATEO.COM is not providing medical advice and this information is not in place of medical advice.



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