Soul-Searching in a Dark World

Soul-Searching in a Dark World

By Monica Y Mateo

Whenever I think my journey is at it’s end and I’ve fully found myself — I realize how very lost I am. I realize how much walking I’ve left to endure on a very rough terrain. I realize how much I really don’t know about life and who I am in this world. I am soul-searching and perhaps many of you are too.

The world is become a lot darker –perhaps it has always been this dark, but we’ve never noticed. We are living in a world with a lot of violence, but if you study History — violence has always been at the root of every generation. We are living in a world of good and evil. There are so many people who no longer believe in God. There are people who “hate” other groups of people. There are people who use violence to promote peace. I’ve seen it all. There are more people who would aid a homeless dog rather than a homeless child.

We have abandoned children, children who die at the hands of their parents and even children being sold into sex trafficking. Women are changing–men are changing.. it’s a lot to handle and if you’re on social media you must see it all as well. Our men are no longer men and our women are no longer women. So in this dark world where do we find peace? In this dark world where do we find comfort? The answer is you don’t. Stop looking for peace in the darkness. Stop looking for comfort in the darkness. Stop.

It’s time we stop putting rose colored lenses over our eyes and actually see our world for what it is and LOVE it and everyone ANYWAY. See, we want to only see the good. We don’t like homeless on our streets because it brings down the neighborhood. I am one to admit I have thought this about a homeless man on my block. He was often drunk beyond measure and wore tons of clothes even in the heat. I hated looking at him because when people would drive to my house they would see him. Unfortunately, today I don’t see this man and I fear the worse. See I didn’t see him as a person, but a decoration tainting my view of the neighborhood. Have you ever done that?

We glance over people and we do it more times that we all can even imagine. Facebook also allows us to be distant from social injustice, yet make us feel like we are actually doing something about issues around the world. We think, if we like, comment, and share a post about injustice our jobs are done. We have nothing more to do. How wrong we are. We are missing the true issues and we aren’t doing a thing to help. We think if we type “Amen” we are saving ourselves. God certainly isn’t checking your Facebook feed.

God is watching us and He must be in absolute agony over what we are doing. We ignore Him (I’ve done it for years until He made himself loud enough for me to finally hear Him). We ignore the sufferings of the world and worry only of ourselves. We are a very selfish and selfie loving generation. There is still slavery, racism, hatred, violence, child abuse, famines, and war. We are living in a time of everything listed, yet we think if we close our eyes tight enough we won’t have to think about it. At this moment, in a world that will be entering 2018, children are dying from hunger. In a world that is technologically advancing, slaves are being sold. In a world that is socially connected via social media, children are going missing into sex trafficking. Yet, we decide to just you know, share the post and do nothing more.

We have a job to do in this world and we are not doing it. Myself included. Perhaps this post is more about my wake up call as it is yours. I don’t know about you, but I am tired of just turning the channel or wishing it away. Yes, prayer is very important in our salvation, but it won’t save people alone. Prayer must also be action. May we continue to soul-search and may we continue to see that we cannot ignore the truth.



About the author:

Monica Y. Mateo is a licensed social worker by day and writer/blogger by night. She is the author of her first memoir, The Cancer Warrior available on and

She is a 8 year survivor of Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma ALK+, which taught her that people can change unhealthy patterns and behaviors. She is a mom, fiance, vegan, and soul-searcher.

Disclaimer: MONICAYMATEO.COM is not providing medical advice and this information is not in place of medical advice.




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